The VIP Room
Welcome!
If you are reading this, it means you are either a paid member of the site, or, you have been invited by me personally to visit the site's story vault, a place otherwise know as THE VIP ROOM. Here, you will find my novels and short stories in their entirety for you to read and, hopefully, enjoy. To read a story, simply click on its name (link). Also, if not using a phone, you may want to read tips on how best to view the stories by clicking the link below. Aside from that, enjoy the stories, and, enjoy your stay here at...
A Story For You
Reading tips
The Prom Fart
A middle-aged man, lost in the doldrums of his life, is suddenly given a reason to reflect back on his life before marriage.
The story is a hilarious, and at the same time, profound commentary on the man/woman relationship and all that it entails. It also serves as prime example of how all of us are forced to make decisions that will affect the rest of our lives at an age we are woefully unqualified and unprepared to do so.
But then, that's life.
deliquents, inc
Two teenage delinquents, fueled by their chronic use of drugs, give new meaning to the term 'wayward youth'. And the worst part is, they're coming to a neighborhood near you. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
tears for maggie
The is the continuation of the Incinerator Boy saga, and completes the entire story. It's a tale of an unlikely love affair that accidentally happens between a not-so-hopeless drifter on a motorcycle and a nun whose life is dedicated to an orphanage, a catholic orphanage that's been the only home she has ever known, having been brought there at the tender age of six. From her, he learns the priceless lessons in life that only an orphanage can teach, and from him, she learns all about a world she knows nothing about, the world outside the orphanage. And together, they learn how a true, heartfelt love can change everything you know about life...while it lasts, because life, even on it's best day, is a temporary condition.
Or is it?
someplace to be
He's heard the complaint since he first created man: how can you pass judgment on us when you've never been one of us, never had to live through, endure, or suffer all the things we do? So that's what God does, comes to Earth to live as one of us, not knowing who he really is. Not for sixteen years. In the meantime, he simply wanders, never staying in one place for too long because of his overwhelming sense of purpose - that there is a reason he is here, that there is someplace he needs to be. And, in fact, there is: a 150-year-old church run by an idealistic young pastor who is struggling with a faith he is dangerously close to losing, and if he does, will walk away from everything he has believed in and dedicated his life to.
And that simply can't happen.
My Life As A Phone Book Vol. 1
While most of the stories in this collection are Cult Humor in nature, there are also a few samplings of Romance, Horror, and Drama. What this means is that within these collective pages, you will find things that will make you laugh, make you cry, make you think, and most of all, make you want to read some more.
introduction
A forward by none other than the host of the stories himself, a phone book. One with an attitude.
incinerator boy
Life Through the eyes of an endearing and charming teenage deliquent as he struggles in his efforts to understand friendship, love, and the world at large.
the amazing zoltar
The story of a fortune telling machine with a tendency to shoot customers he doesn't like in the face.
the walker
Who or what is death, and would you really want to know?
what cost stupid
What happens when a nation of stupid people bring about their own demise.
the man in the mirror
Not exactly the guy you want to have a conversation with, but sometimes, you don't have a choice in the matter.
the visitor
A reclusive writer and a mysterious, yet beautiful young entity redefine what a relationship can be.
call of duty
The story of how one hapless and naive marine discovers why you never want to volunteer for flamethrower duty.
i, enigma
A day in the life of a 28-year-old gifted, but highly disturbed, genius.
statistic
A motorcycle fatality as seen through the eyes of the 21 year-old victim.
My Life As A Phone Book Vol. 2
Like its predecessor, My Life As A Phone Book Vol. 1, this collection of short stories is mainly comprised of cult humor fiction with the exception of a single drama.
lord of the dorm flies
What happens to a prison inmate when flies drive him to the very brink of madness, and maybe a bit beyond.
tyrannosaurus fred
Not only is this a funny, yet touching story about the friendship between two T. Rex's, but it also reveals the truth about what really happened to the dinosaurs.
a grim business, indeed
The Grim Reaper gives new purpose to his dark existence when he takes a job as a Kawasaki motorcycle salesman, and in doing so, finds a new and clever way of collecting souls.
area 52
An otherwise nice guy, oppressed and downtrodden by 30 years of marriage to his massively obese, completely overbearing, and entirely repulsive wife, finds relief from his problems in a most unexpected way.
delinquents, inc.
Two
teenage delinquents, fueled by their chronic use of drugs, give new
meaning to the term 'wayward youth'. And the worst part is, they're
coming to a neighborhood near you. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
the virus guy
The story about what happens when an exceptionally gifted mind is used for all the wrong reasons.
lunatic
A different take on what happened to Pink Floyd's founder, Syd Barret, after he retreated to the depths of his own mind.